What do we earn

There's an advertising war raging between Cadillac and Ford about the American spirit and what hard work earns us. Check out the two videos and some analysis here. Basically Cadillac claims Americans work harder (not taking a month off in August) and therefore deserve nicer things. Ford on the other hand says our world is better cause we work harder and for the common good. So, a few questions and my lessons learned:

What do we earn in life? How?
By working hard, loving fully, being smart, taking risks?
What can I expect in return for putting my best into the world?

Recently, these questions came up in conversations with Rachel. My personal experience to relate to these questions is that I feel that I'm pouring my heart, time, and energy into this six-month fellowship with Ultimate Peace. On top of asking the questions about how to have as much impact as I can, I'm asking what can I expect personally in return. Can I expect that others will do their best? Will I see the fruits of my labor and maybe even the direct spoils? Here are a couple of the lessons I'm learning:

Lesson # 1. Its not about me. Especially in nonprofit work, and in most kinds of leadership, its not about me. Its about the mission, the program, the participants and volunteers.

Lesson # 2. My "earnings" perspective is often shaped by the if-then expectation. Basically that what you put into something is returned to you -- in a different form, but on the same scale and easily identified. Examples: put in 40 hours of work a week, get paid for that time; give love and receive love; allow the car in front of you in and be allowed in next time you need it. Yet the world is not always so clear-cut. In fact, it often seems like the effort we put in does not come back to us at all.

What I'm finding (in relationships and in work) is that we need to think beyond how our effort comes back to us, and more onto how our effort goes to others. And not in a tit-for-tat way... that we are giving of ourselves to a common pot (consider it perhaps the "effort pot"). The richer that pot is the better, though it might not be better for you personally, immediately, or even in the material sense.

Unrelated picture from yesterday's UP meeting/practice ahead of the US tour (someone said "jump" just before taking the shot):

What's actually been happening? Part 1

In the middle of September, my friend Matt and I went out on the Atlanta Beltline for some catching up. Our routine is to walk -or ride our bikes- up and back on the northeast section. So I mentioned to him being interested in international work, connecting it in part to what I did with the Carter Center last summer. In turn, Matt offers to introduce me to Rebecca, a friend of his who worked for NDI, another international elections observer group.

So Matt loops Rebecca and I together on email. Rebecca and I set up a phone conversation to get talking. And during our 30-minute talk on October 1st, she encourages me to seize the moment (meaning spring semester 2014 and maybe beyond) - why wait to get the kind of experience I'm saying interests me. Part of the argument is that organizations are looking for people to show their value before those people ask for a salary. And the other argument is that I'm not as old as I think I am (and that regretting not getting this experience at 23 isn't useful).

So once Rebecca and I are off the phone, I mull over what she said. Something clicks. A couple days later email David of Ultimate Peace about making this real. Side note: this was something David and I (along with Sarah VW) talked about back in 2011 - supporting the organization in developing the programs and doing it more like full-time.

By the following Sunday, David and I get on the phone together. Luckily, I had contacted him just ahead of Club Nationals, a tournament in Dallas that was coordinating with the Ultimate Hall of Fame induction ceremony (same city and weekend). David was going to be there -- to himself be inducted! This was the perfect opportunity to meet in the middle of the country and discuss, with Linda present, the opportunity ahead. So only two weeks after talking with Rebecca about seizing the moment, I met with Linda and David to make a real plan for making the move. And that folks is the start of what's been happening!

Lessons from Eat, Pray, Love

A few months ago, I went with my family to see the cinematic version of Eat, Pray, Love. I got into it and a couple weeks after borrowed the book to read at my leisure.

Now that I'm in full leisure mode, taking time to read the book is exactly what I'm doing. And here are some notes I'd like to make from the book, both of which come from the "big texas yogi" the protagonist spends time with while at an ashram in India.

1. send love and light every day to the people you miss and love, particularly those who you loved closely. this is relevant for me cause, even though we've been apart for more than five years, an ex-girlfriend's marriage last year hit me hard. i hope she's sending light my way sometimes - and i hope that i find the strength to do the same for her.


2. "you gotta learn how to let go...otherwise you'll just toss and turn forever, beatin' on yourself for being such a fiasco in life." the other day i lost my cell phone in an idiotic stretch of drunk dancing in the street (on a sunday night).

Glad to hear comments when y'all got 'em. Or just keep sending my thoughts out to ya (and by keep sending i mean send only very periodically and almost never).

New crib

I know I've posted a lot lately about my being an uncle. And giving my niece lots of attention. I drive around town with baby clothes and books in the trunk.

But the crib I'm talkin about is all mine. Well mine with a couple friends. Well really it belongs to the couple of friends and I'm renting a room. But I've been living there almost alone for a couple weeks. Getting stuff set up by myself and having people over. Its real nice. So you get the point.

Come by and visit some time. Rock on the front porch swing or sit in the screen porch in back. Water, Sweetwater Beer and Mangers served til late. Did I mention its less than a minute from Little 5? See ya

Anticipation time

Almost five months have passed since the '09 ultimate season. But I've only posted once in that time about something other than ultimate. This post is no different. I guess ultimate remains my main safe topic, the one I can most easily elaborate on without worrying about privacy and such. Naturally, people blog about their main hobbies, which ultimate most certainly is. Lastly, and this is something characteristic of most hobbies, its something that I think I do well, or I have reason to feel good about my success in the area.

I'm also really good at giving more introduction than is necessary then running out of energy for the intended post. I want to talk about the upcoming season, think through a little more what 2010 means.

The big news, and maybe I haven't fully leaked this to my swarms of readers yet, is that Chain has been invited to Prague, Czech Republic, for the World Ultimate Club Championships this summer. I can remember in 2006 when Ozone qualified for Worlds how much fun and meaning the Atlanta women's team had in their trip to Australia. So not only is this a great opportunity to represent our nation and city, but its a unique chance to experience time in historic central Europe... plus ultimate.

I trust there will be life after Prague, but its so tempting to build up all excitement around that week-long tournament and travel opportunity.

The ultimate season is pretty straightforward after July. We take a few weeks off, return for hot August. Then the Fall Series is upon us again: sectionals, regionals, nationals. In fact, I'm considering taking on the role of Regional Coordinator for the South open division of the UPA. That would depend, like the Prague opportunity and the Fall Series, on how my job situation plays out...

Other things going on include team fundraising. We're hoping to host a big party, a big bar night, and a juniors (and maybe college players) clinic. But my anticipation of this year is huge, not only because expectations of Chain have skyrocketed, but also because I'm anxious to see how the year goes (personally, professionally, ultimately). I guess I'll just have to enjoy the whole thing unfolding.

Short aside: Terminus this past weekend was epic. Fun team pic below (official team name was Full Par - golf, drinking, and Tiger Woods were part of the theme). Thanks kate, lori, and mccargo for organizing the team and tourney. Everybody else, good job enjoying the weekend.

Wishin it would rain

Every now and then, I get into a darker mood and wish for rain. This makes the summer (actually, most seasons) in Atlanta fairly satisfying. Except for these last couple weeks, during which the clouds have threatened but rarely produced much rain at all. On the other hand, this tendency towards darker moods would make living in a climate like southern California's pretty unbearable. Speaking for me, not everybody. I think my wish for rain reflects more inner darkness than what comes through during everyday interactions.

But yesterday's sadness came from a few external things, like the news of death in the community. Not on par with that, but disappointing nonetheless, I heard yesterday from the State Department that I'm not invited to continue in my application to the Foreign Service. :( I don't feel entitled to the interview, but I have continued to maintain that I'd be able to succeed in the application and the Foreign Service Officer career. State apparently doesn't agree.

I just checked their online notification letter again to make sure I didn't mis-read it or that it wasn't wrongfully delivered yesterday. Maybe they put someone else's name on it and I downloaded the wrong one. But no. In an administration that is pumping up diplomacy, while managing highly-sensitive situations in Arabic-speaking countries, I thought I'd have to chance to go further in the process. My mistake.

Haven't done a pity post in a while, but here's why I'm "wishin it would rain."

Carl Jung

Carl Jung (pronounced "young") was a German psychiatrist and clinician who dabbled in various studies, including psychology, alchemy, sociology, and religion.

From a book I borrowed today from the public library, "Introduction to Jung's Psychology," I'm hoping to learn more about what he calls the individuation process, among other items.

Simple weekend planned: jogging tonight, festival tomorrow, cleaning and relaxing Sunday.

Planning pictures and budgets

Above is a picture of the budget I set out for myself every month. The basis is that I write down what I spent money on by keeping receipts and dropping them off on this table. The actual budget is written on construction paper and the rows represent: budget amount, spent amount, over- or under-spent, and special notes. Once I enter the amount into the appropriate column, based on categories, I can throw the receipt away. At the end of the month, I tally all the expenses, see where I went over and under...

My favorite categories are "gifts/charity" and "incidentals" because I feel free to spend on those as opposed to feeling constrained in other areas... Example being that my least favorite categories are "eat out/entertainment" and "travel" because I always fill those up.

Still, by keeping the categories separate and tracking everything I spend, I can tell when I go overboard, in what area and by how much. I sometimes look a couple months ahead of time and say, "I'll budget less this month to have more that month." That's especially important for travel, an area where you can easily spend a few hundred bucks on a single plane ticket and exceed one month's budgeted amount. 

I remember posting about the cons of living in LA, namely that I couldn't afford to. And I wondered how I could go on a budget date and other things... well those tough economic days are still here in a sense. The only differences for me personally are: a) i actually keep track, thanks to this construction paper budget, and b) that I can afford to have a column in my budget for savings. Ed kindly responded here about the whole ballin on a budget broke issue.

I know talking about specifics in personal budgets (income, debt, etc) is taboo, but I'd be interested in getting a rough idea of how my friends manage money. [Sarcasm:] I know the above budget is the most high-tech thing you have ever seen, so feel free to praise the novel system I've come up with... No really, do you have any best practices to suggest?

Training

I'm getting in better shape before the ultimate season. My goal of late has been to up my workout frequency to twice a week. For some that wouldn't be a huge accomplishment (I can think of one and two examples). But its a realistic goal for what I need to move in the right direction.

Been doing one day of lifting and one day of jumping each week; or one day of lifting and one of running; throw in a long bike ride or two and its a complete week. But to really improve explosiveness, endurance, and throws - especially deep throws - I need to excel at these areas: 

• eating right
• lifting right
• running both long and short distances
• throwing right, and throwing alot

 The huge slice of cake I had after lunch today might not fit in this diet :( and new regimen. Any suggestions on how to optimize my training this Spring? Or share how you're optimizing your training time... (pic borrowed from Scott's website: scaughtyphotography.smugmug.com

Three Wishes

Ooh its such a personal question. I don't know if I trust the world wide web enough to share my secrets. But a secret is only such until you tell it, so why not get it out?! Found this site through a good friend who likes to write.

I really would wish an end to human suffering... primarily suffering that results from poor sanitation, access to health services, and food insecurity. Sure I sound like a 5 year old wishing everyone could just be okay. Or maybe I sound like some recently-returned traveler to South Asia saying how simple it is if we just write to our representatives asking them to increase aid and control the proliferation of arms across the world. I think it will take a sea change from the current atmosphere of rampant consumer capitilism -- but it is possible, with a major psychosocial shift, to afford the kind of aid that would end unnecessary deaths resulting from simple diseases and hunger. So that's my first wish.

My second wish would be, well, wish number one seems so all-encompassing for my life that its hard to think of a second one. Also, its hard to wish for Braves season-tickets in light of wish number one... cause of course I wouldn't have that kind of consumption desire in my proposed perfect world where no one suffers unnecessarily. But I would wish for a more robust sense of humor. Good humor reflects strong wit and intelligence, but also it shows that someone doesn't take themselves too seriously. So I guess that's a side-wish, call it wish 2.5: taking myself less seriously.

Third wish has to be ... wow ... I published this at first without a third wish. I guess I'll leave it at two for now. And ask you, the reader, for a wish or two. Either post it here as a comment or on your own blog (Bert - you, especially, need a new blog post; love ya!).

Food Tracking

For about a week earlier this month, I tried to record everything I ate. My main dietary goal was to maximize my protein and decrease my processed carbs. Plus I thought recording it (through the memo app on my phone) would help me track it all.

I want to get it off my phone but couldn't think of anywhere else to post it. So, here it is; maybe I learned (or will learn) something from it: 

Feb 3: Breakfast: 2 1/2 bowls Frosted Flakes with 1 pct milk
Lunch: 1 leg fried chicken, 1 svg pasta with eggplant and sauce, 2 apples, 2 slices cake
Dinner: 1 svg lowfat cottage cheese, salad no dressing, half a cantalope, half bar organic dark chocolate, 1/2 cup mixed frozen fruit

Feb 4: Bfast: half croissant, 1 svg egg/bacon/ssge
Lch: 1 svg cttge chs, small salad, three slices wheat brd, 5 slcs ham, 1 slc salami - 1/2 tsp yllw mustard, 1 small bag peanuts
Din: 1 svg cttg cheese, 1 cup melon, 1 onion in soup w/ chicken broth, 6 svgs tofu, 4 mushrooms, 1 beer, 1 cup mixed frzn fruit, 1 apple

Feb 5: Bfast: 3 eggs scrambled
Lunch: 1 svg brocoli, 1 svg carrots - both boiled, 1 chicken breast baked; cornbread
Din: didn't record anything

Feb 6: 3 eggs, 2 svgs melon, pasta w/ eggplant, svg cott ches, 1 orange, 2 slices whole wheat brd, 4 slices turkey, 1 turkey and cheese large sub, 1.5 rolls veggie sushi, 3 handfuls walnuts, svg watermelon, large hot chocolate

Weekend: didn't record anything

Feb 9: 4 eggs scrambled 402 calories 20 grams protein, 2 bananas 210 calories 3 grams protein, 3 slices white turkey 90 calories 15 grams protein, 3 slices wheat bread 210 calories 10.5 grams protein, cttg cheese 81 calories 14 grams protein, carrots 50 calories
Total so far (1:30 pm): 1050 calories and 62 grams protein :)

Dinner: didn't record anything

Feb 10: 2 svgs frstd flks, 2 svgs milk, 2 svgs vietnamese salad, 2 grlld chs (muenster), svg yogurt, svg frzn fruit

Feb 11: 3 eggs, 3 svgs cttg chs, slice wheat brd, 1/2 svg italian drssg, slice apple pie with scoop cream, roll, svg cole slaw, svg pork, svg baked beans

Why I Travel Alot

Talking with hippo-friend, Christina, I had a kind of emotional moment this morning. She and I are emailing back and forth, and this thread is about favorite foods. I mentioned I plan to be home this weekend and may be able to cook some of those delicious things we were talking about (banana nut pancakes).

And I had this immediate, wrenching, sad sensation when I wrote that I plan to be home. I am going to be here in Atlanta this weekend, alone in the house, cooking brunch for myself -- before going to play goaltimate or something else Saturday afternoon. 

And my realization was that I want to be back in DC, where I was a couple weeks ago -- enjoying meals and parties with the best friends in the world. And I want to be hanging out with them some more, seeing them and sleeping on the same pull-out couch mattress-on-the-basement floor with them, etc.

If I can't hang out with these friends, then at least I want to be traveling -- not stuck at home without anybody, ya know. So that's Why I Travel      Alot.

Bus-Wait Formula

This morning, I headed out the door late. About 20 minutes late. I normally would catch a 7:58 bus at the end of my block. But I was so late today that thought I might be able to catch the 8:18 bus. 

After getting to the stop at 8:15 and waiting for two minutes, I decided to walk the route and maybe beat the bus there. Its a mile to the station, mainly uphill. And I thought back to this NY Times article about the walk/wait dilemma.

Here are my assumptions: 

• walking straight from my place to the station takes 15 minutes, no bus involved 
• riding the bus from my stop to the station takes five minutes

Based on that: 

• I save ten minutes if I don't have to wait for the bus at all
• I save five minutes if the bus picks me up after I wait only five minutes at my stop
• I save no time if I wait ten minutes - I arrive at the same time I would have if I had walked
• I lose time by waiting more than ten minutes
  

Above is the bus line map. 

This morning, after waiting for two minutes and walking for 15 minutes, not a single bus caught up to or passed me. I can only guess how late I would have been by waiting at my stop.

I obviously don't agree with the belief that this problem is "is in essence trivial" like this wikipedia page does.  

Follow My Blog

All blogs are different. But the premise for this one is fairly common. Talk about my life with people who live around me, who I've known for a while and may even live on my street. But people I don't talk to regularly. They can watch me and I can talk about my life. When I don't have a home companion (as the sleep number calls it), I still need someone to tell about my day. And a blog suffices sometimes. As much as I've questioned whether to put my kool-aid all over the web for anyone to read, its satisfying and I get my news out to loved ones. So that's cool. And I have been doing more blog promotion lately. So in that spirit.

In short, please click on Follow this blog in the right margin --->>

Printing Less

If you've read this more than a few times, or have known me for more than a few minutes, you'll probably know that I try to be environmentally concsious. I pick up after group lunches, separating trash from recycling if possible. I'll re-use plastic cups and try re-washing plastic utensils at work; and so on and so forth.

But one of the things I've been resistant to is reading all news and things on the computer screen. I would say I get the majority of my news and periodicals online. But for many of those, I opt to print them and read the hard copies instead of enjoy on the computer screen. 

Several years ago, Julia told me that her office was going paperless. Here are my main skepticisms of an effort like that, which is tied to my tendency to print instead of read online: 

1. how do you keep files with you when you want or all the time? 
2. how do you take notes?
3. how do you refer quickly to things like directories, which are constantly available, say on a bulletin board next to the computer?
4. how do you connect with people off-line (not just people who are currently logged off, but people who don't have access to computers or the internet at all)?
5. how do you keep from damaging your eyes with constant reading from the computer screen?

I intend to interview Julia about where her office is right now in their paperless effort (please comment about it). But short of that interview, I'll answer those few questions as a new advocate of paperless as best I can.

1. Keep files with you all the time with: laptop/notebook computers, personal digital assistants (see stolen image above), high-tech meeting spaces, etc
   
2. Take notes: Low-tech ways like cut-paste word processing and mixing up fonts within the same document, higher tech ways like Track Changes within documents, short-hand word processing, and more
3. Refer quickly to directories/bulletin board stuff: wisely sort files and folders
4. Connect with people off-line: don't know
5. Avoid damaging eyes: get a glare decreaser

Just a couple hours ago, I printed what I hope is my last article from online to off-line; the article is about dead-lifting. From now on, I will work on going paperless for news and more. Or at least I'll try reading my news on the computer screen, if not totally paperless.

Note: I do not have a pda and am not endorsing them. The picture is included to give an idea or how to go paperless.

Got to do it

Less than two months from Election Day, and with more drama than a 'Young and the Restless' season, its about time I get back into this political theater with a discussion of what's going on.

1. Sarah Palin is on the Republican ticket as vice-presidential nominee. I don't think she'll be able to do anything useful in the White House. I question whether she even wants to be there, with her hometown roots and growing family. The truth is that John McCain and the ultra-right Republicans are using her to get themselves back in.

2. Barack Obama chose Joe Biden to serve as his vice presidential nominee. Obama made this decision no doubt to sure up some foreign affairs experience on the ticket and because the Democrats still lag in blue-collar support across this great land.

3. Jim Martin is considered to be close behind Saxby Chambliss in Georgia's US Senate race. Libretarian Allen Buckley is in the race and should attend all the candidate debates -- theoretically, I support third-parties' inclusion in the process so this is all to the good. (Tomorrow the National Press Club is hosting a third-party presidential candidates discussion)

What I'm looking for in a candidate to genuinely address this Fall include:

• ending the war in Iraq


• bringing some economic stability through business growth and reigning in the federal deficit


• a serious energy initiative with clean, alternative energy given priority but all options on the table


• health care solutions for Grady Hospital and other care for the poor, social security, medicare


• doing something about the housing crisis, including addressing homelessness (not just by running a mis-guided anti-pan handling campaign; in other words, I DON'T SUPPORT THE SLOGAN 'PAN-HANDLING IS A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION')

Another Comment

hey ben,

sorry it's been so long since i commented on your blog post. but for some reason i thought of it today. i tried to post it but it didn't let me, even when i created an account. so here's what i wrote:

In a sense, there is not a conflict between those two, in that we are each a part of the world. So doing right by ourselves is part of doing right by the world. However, I see what you're getting at - I think. Sure, people do selfish things that harm many other people, but perhaps they are not recognizing the broader impact that their decisions have on the world and therefore on themselves as a part of the world. Or they value the benefit that they will receive more highly than they perceive the cost to them. For a large number of cases, I think that such people do not fully account for the costs. For example, a drug company that does not work to make life-saving medication available to the extremely poor may be failing to account for 1. the cost of the human misery that they are allowing, and 2. the cost of the forgone benefit that they personally would receive by living in a world in which people have access to the medication that they need.

yeah, so i added an econ major last year, if that's not evident enough from the post. anyway, i hope all is well! things in dc are crazy busy all of a sudden, but i think they'll slow down after spring break...we'll see. we're going to do a sleepout for the homeless this year with class council. i went to the one they did two years ago, and i have a friend on cc that worked on it, so i told her i wanted to re-institute it with neighbors as a sponsor. should be a cool event.

short update, but perhaps we can catch up at more length soon.

all the best,
liz

[from Feb 28 email from Liz Ramey to bspears]

[to view older posts on these topics, follow these links:
http://benjamminspearsblog.blogspot.com/2006/11/self-interest.html and
http://benjamminspearsblog.blogspot.com/2006/11/gospel.html ]

Neglect

Happy Holidays! This is a time of year when neglect (of the poor, the lonely, and the estranged) is never more apparent. Hunger exists but people line up for malls to get things on sale for loved ones who wish for new goods to enjoy and show off (see previous post).

Traditionally for me this is a time of more travel and visits with family and friends. Fortunately, I have found new friends early this holiday season, including some from work. After three weeks, I will reunite with my immediate family and friends in Atlanta.

After spending two great days with Kate here in Hollywood, I flew to Little Rock, Ar, for a couple days on 'retreat' with the political operations staff of our national organization.

At Petit Jean State Park, we debriefed, made plans for the next year, and partied. A couple pictures were taken during the evening fun and closing ceremonies. Thanks to Sara of Colorado's Election Administration program for emailing the few shots above.

Today's title partly has to do with the neglect I have paid this blog. It could be historical and thoughtful, but not when I'm not putting anything in to it.

Best wishes from LA. Another week ahead and another opportunity for success.