Loitering

In the spirit of 24th St, NW, and South Central LA, I loitered in front of my neighborhood grocery store last night.

I got off work 20 minutes early and wanted to soak up the (car exhaust) rays of Southern California before retiring to rice & beans, Jeapordy, and an article on internalized oppression.

I walked down Broadway, got near my corner (ducking under the overgrown tree nobody else seems to have a problem with), and decided to call Kyle. And I slowed past the water shop (yes, we have shops dedicated only to water).

But, having the mind that I do, I grew suspicious of myself. I looked around and saw lots of people walking, as usual. Also, similar to experiences of the last year and a couple months, I didn't look like my neighbors at all.

But that wasn't suspicious - looking different and being on the street (though in some areas, people walk so infrequently, it would be suspicious to do so). What was suspicious (in my mind) was that I'm a 24-year old standing on the corner in the hood making a phone call and seemingly waiting for someone to pay me a visit (i.e. drugs)... that I was meandering near the payphone, using my cell phone, and chilling on the grocery store's bike lock-stand-thing (i.e. theft). I felt like the dude who has a pager/cell-phone and yet uses the pay-phone. And I felt like I might get approached by the cops if I stayed too long.

Watching the people and the cars for five minutes was worth the attention I drew (that is: my own attention, drawn to myself). Then I walked down my street and that's that.