Reflecting

My most recent post is about a Moroccan driver calling me "racism" back in 2003. And although I ended the text with, "thats the end of it," thats not really it. Or at least, I realize there is some processing I needed to do after the incident.

I can remember that my initial reaction was practical. "Let's just walk away and diffuse the tension," I thought. And it worked. Nobody in our group reacted or felt like a target of his anger anymore. We caught our taxi back to school and didn't talk about what happened. Or why.

My next reaction was indignation. Embarrassing for him, really, that he spoke so rashly, ignorantly and harshly. I know that my behavior had nothing or very little to do with how he formed the opinion he expressed. If someone in his life is a racist, its certainly not me. Perhaps what I represent is racist.

Which brings me to now. And how do I process that interaction? Surely I'm not racist. Right? (Righteousness) And I'm entitled to choose my mode transportation. Right? (Money and Privilege)

Honestly, i'm confused; and I still question my part in that incident...and my part in the world. Not as a way to self criticize but as a way to keep an open mind, see the world from another perspective. If I hadn't expressed it before, let me assure you this was a rare occurrence in Morocco.